Christmas Wish

I'm back. I'm sitting here with mixed emotions...there are a couple routes I could take here. I decided on this one. Today I would like to talk about Christmas. Not far out of the ordinary, especially after the last post, but bear with me folks. You see its like this. Everyday my day begins the same. I get up, I get dressed ( I shower at night for those of you holding your noses), I go to work. Once I get to work I put my steel toed butt kickers on (work boots), I dress all warm and fuzzy and I turn on the Mp3 player. I start off everyday the same way. At first I tune to 98.7 and listen to the entertainment news and the daily celebrity challenge ( I have won several times). After all of this has ended I turn to KBER 101 for my daily dose of Bob and Tom. Lately though, I find my routine taking a different course. For the last few weeks B98.7 has been doing what they call the Christmas Wish. I find it both remarkable and incredible what they do and have done with this program. They recieve hundreds of letters and emails about people in need. These are often written by family members, but have been known to be written by neighbors or even people they work with. The letters themselves are very warm and heartening. After the letters have been read, they choose a family to visit every day until the day the jolly fat man visits. This is where i really pay attention. Im not a softie, so you can stop now with the awwws and the ooohhhss. I truly believe though that they have hit it on the head with this program. There is a group of people that show up in the early morning hours fighting the cold and often the elements to make a wish come true for a different family each day. The gifts are always different and the letters are never alike, but the meaning is there. The Christmas Wish is sponsored by Kurt Benson Motors. This man has done a wonderful thing. Shawn Stevens is the radio personality responsible for entering the houses and wishing the families a Merry Christmas. He really gets into it. His emotions are true and his message is the same ..."Pass it on". There have been families who have disabled children. Parents out of work and worried about Christmas for their children. A single father with several children who had recently lost his wife to cancer. These are all people deserving of this program. I applaud this radio station for taking the time and the energy needed to see this through each year.

They of course are not the only ones. Today I heard a story about two girls in West Jordan. These girls are 8 and 9, and have for the past couple of years set up cardboard boxes in different locations to collect clothing, toys, food and cash to help the homeless and those living in shelters. Well done little angels.

One of our own ( I wont name a name) along with her brood of elves has done a wonderful job making blankets. Kitty blankets to be exact. These will be used for new kitty's adopted at the animal shelter. She has not only done a service for the community but shown her children the art of unselfishness. Wonderful!!

Rupert, the old guy that never could win survivor, has started a charity called Rupert's Kids. He takes donations, items that can be used or auctioned off, and clothing and uses it to support a camp for children. These kids are getting a summer experience they wouldnt otherwise get. I know this isnt exactly Christmas, but he does a wonderful service and he deserves a little recogniton.

Finally, but only barely, The Angel Tree. This is a program sponsored by KUTV and has been going for many years. Its simple, you pick a child from the Angel Tree and grant their wish. Most times these are small items..a pair of gloves, shoes, maybe a coat. Toys are not uncommon, and books are always wanted as well. Its a simple thing, and it rarely costs much. I know in todays economy times are tough. I understand all to well being strapped for cash. I have done the Angel Tree for five years now, and couldnt see breaking tradition this year. I picked a little girl who needed a new backpack. I hope she likes Dora the Explorer. You can find the Angel Tree at any Macy's location or any branch of Cypres Credit Union. This program is also sponsored by The Salvation Army.

I dont know how many of you recieved a letter in your inbox about a coat drive for the Granger High School Alumni Association, but I would like to take these last few sentences to ask you to please consider helping. There are teenagers and other kids out there with no means of staying warm in the winter. We all know (those of us that went to Granger) that some of those classrooms are always cold. There were others that were always hot too. But thats neither here nor there....this is a valid attempt at clothing those who need it. Please look through your old coats and mittens. Got any old BYU stocking hats laying around that even the dog wont wear?? How about an old 49'ers coat that you cant wear out of embarassment? Anything will help and everything is appreciated.

The coat/clothing drive info is..Contact: Brent Newton, 801 957-1779; Brent1966@aol.com

I hope I didnt come off as preaching there folks. I know you all have families and I know you all work hard to stay ahead. I only ask that at this time of year we all remember the true meaning and the true spirit of the holiday by helping our fellow man in any way possible. I would like to end with a heartfelt thank you and and warmest holiday wish to all the men and women serving in todays armed forces. Overseas or at home...doesnt matter. They have given the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and liberties. Its a debt of gratitude that can never be repayed.

I wish you all the best life can bring you. Be good to yourselves and others. Throw snowballs at those you dont like, and remember....please dont eat the yellow snow.

Until next time...Brandon

Holidays

Ok, so its been awhile and I havent written anything in here. I thought today we would discuss the Holidays. What they mean to us (other than the obvious "family" reason), and what some of our traditions are. The Holidays mean extra time off for me. They also mean a chance to spend time with or see people you havent seen in like forver. I know to some the idea of time off from work and the daily routine sounds rather selfish. Youre right, it is. I wouldnt say I have the hardest job in the world, but it is definitely a physical demand daily, and the idea of sitting on my butt typing a blog is much more appealing than getting up at 430 in the morning for work.

There is also the seeing people part. When I say this I typically mean relatives. Im not especially close to my father's side of the family. I have some wonderful cousins and some very nice aunts and uncles, its just not a "lets get together every chance we get" type of family. Recently my Grandfather died, and I had the opportunity to see many if not all of this side of the family. Uncles who live in Vegas and Texas came up and it was a brief time for re-connection. I saw two cousins I hadnt seen since they were 3 and 5...they are both now in college and one is taller than I am. It was a sad time for the family, but a joyous one as well.

So now, as far as seeing people, I guess you could say Ive done my one turn for the year. Im sure there are Christmas parties and other gatherings, I just usually choose not to attend. I have noone to blame but myself, and Im ok with that. What Im really loking forward to this year is the seeing that someone special in my life. For the last many many years, there has been noone to spend the Holiday with. That all changes this year. Im looking very forward to spending some time and much needed rest and relaxation with Jackie. This will be my first year away from home on the Holiday, but again, Im ok with that. Jackie and I are planning on spending Christmas and the few days following in Las Vegas. I love Las Vegas and everything about it. The up all night atmosphere, the never closes vibe. I could live there. Its warm and the people arent so uptight about smoking in public.

I cant wait to see Jackie again. It seems like forever ago since we last saw each other, but in reality its been mere weeks. I wont howver have the chance to spend time with the kids. They are all going back to Chicago to be with their Dad or Grandparents. Michael (the second oldest) is going to China with his school roommate. Its just her and I. I hate not being able to see the kids though. The little buggers have grown on me like a fungus or mold. I look forward to spending even the smallest of minutes with them. Bonding, having fun, you know...being like a parent. The whole idea scares the royal hell out of me. I dont consider myself a good role model, nor do I look at myself as a postive parental figure. I dont treat the children as my own as Jackie and I agreed its better for them to get used to our realtionship and grow accustomed to it first. Right now the relationship between me and the kids is more of a friendly nature. Give it time.

So now that I have wandered, I will actually go into the whole question behind this particular blog. The Holidays. Now I have already told you what they mean to me, and now I would like to discuss the traditons. My mom has a tradition of giving one present every year on Christmas Eve. It is usually a new pair of pajamas. As I have grown older, the gift has changed. It started when I was younger as footed (or is it feeted) pj's to more along the adult line...pants and a t shirt. As the gift has progressed, so have I. I have gone from wearing the cute adorable pj's with the Hulk or the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers to more along the lines of just the bottoms. Most times not even that. I now have a rather wonderful collection of pj bottoms that come in very handy after working all day. There is nothing better in my mind than lounging around the house on a cold Saturday afternoon in a pair of flannel bottoms, my Motley Crue tshirt and a nice hot cup of coffee.

That is really the only tradition we have. We get up, make a mess of the family room, clean up the mess, comment on gifts given and eat a nice homemade breakfast. I have been volunteered as I have grown older to cook part of that breakfast, and I gladly do so. Its not much, but it brings everyone closer together for one day.

So now I would like to know what your traditons are. What do the holidays mean to you. Is it stress, worry, financial ruin? Could it be knowing you have your loved ones around? Is it just a nice relaxing day off work? You tell us gentle reader.

I will continue to write my blogs now that I have a new computer. I downloaded something and ended up with a nasty hacker virus that destroyed my old one. Jackie gave me my Christmas early and sent me my new wonderful puter. You all have her to thank for my new batch of ramblings and posts. I know I do. Thank you so much honey, I truly do love you.

I wish you all the best of the best and the happiest of happy. I pray your Holidays are without incident and add to your fondest memories. I have missed you all, and look forward to reconnecting to you once again.

Until the next post.....Feliz Navidad, Vesele Vanoce (Bohemian), Mele Kalikimaka, Shub Naya Baras (Hindi), Sung Tan Chuk Ha (Korean), Saint Dan Fai Lok (Cantonese), and of course Merry Christmas.

Brandon Claus

Update

Ok, so I have received requests for an update on my current status of non singleness. Well, here it is. I'm still not single. Simple and to the point right??

Jackie and I are doing wonderfully. We have spent three weekends together so far, and I have had the opportunity to meet all the kids. I can't say that I blame them, but the kids love me. What's not to love? We have spent the last month plus getting to know one another, and finding out all we can about each other. At this point in time, she knows that I am awesome, funny (funnier than her according to the above mentioned children), romantic, sweet, handsome (her word, not mine), and an all around good guy. I now know that she is not only intelligent (as I stated in a previous blog), but she is also kind, warm, funny (not as funny as me though remember?), attentive, giving, beautiful, spontaneous, accepting, patient, and the most important part of my life. I can honestly say without a doubt that I have fallen in love. Fallen so hard that is stuck to me. Jackie has become the person I sought. She has taught me so much and left me yearning to learn more.
I know that when I first mentioned I had met someone, there were many posted congrats. I thank you all. I can now say that when I see how happy you all are with your husbands/wives, I honestly understand what it is you see. I have been far too long in the dark, searching without a light, and then suddenly the clouds parted. Jackie and I have so very much in common. We have our bad times as every relationship does. I ensure her it only strengthens us. I now know what it is to truly miss someone's company.
We have talked at length of me moving to California to be closer to her and the kids. She has no desire to move to Utah, and I don't blame her. Besides, she has a pool. But don't worry, the move will not be immediate. I have some loose ends to tie up here first. And I'm positive they get facebook in California too. Don't worry folks, I'm yours for a bit longer.
Well there it is...the update asked for. It is unusual for me, but I smile more lately. My stress has diminished and my anger doesn't surface as easily. I cannot wait for her to meet you all, and have already mentioned the reunion to her. I will still fulfill my duties to the reunion committee and will still peek in on your blogs every so often. I share your happiness for me, and thank you all again for your encouraging words and your pats on the back. I hope life is finding you all well, happy and full of fire. Remember to please be kind and rewind.

Brandon

Holy $*&% !

Yes, I know the title of this blog is a little off putting, but bear with me folks. This blog also falls into the Halloween theme. In this one, I want to know what scares you the most. Now everyone has their fears. If anyone tells you " I ain't a skeered of anything", they are lying. Everyone has a fear. Inate or not. For some it's spiders, for others clowns. Yes, clowns. I have a cousin who is frigthened of clowns. Sad, happy, evil...doesn't matter. I made the mistake once of wearing my Motley Crue Carnival of Sins t-shirt around her...I wasn't aware she hated clowns till that day. She avoided me like the plague.

Now I'm not looking for you to admit your fears so we can all have a good laugh. I wouldn't do that. I have fears of my own. For instance, I am deathly afraid of sharks. I have the utmost respect for a killing machine that has survived millions of years of evolution, and I have no desire whatsoever of swimming with one or even being close enough to touch one. Oh I went into the ocean when I was in Hawaii...far enough to jump out again if anything brushed past my leg that wasn't to my liking. I don't really care for spiders either. Nothing says good morning worse than waking to a hairy wolf spider on your ceiling as a teenager. Now THAT got me out of bed and actually looking forward to school. The movie Arachnophobia still creeps me out to this day. I know there are others out there that share my sentiment to these eight legged demons.

Now that I have sufficietly freaked myself out, I would be highly interested in what freaks you out. For some it is the fear of death. For others nothing more complicating than the fear of public speaking. Whatever it may be, fear has the power to render you motionless. The power to dry your tongue, palpitate your heart and make you sweat. There are literally hundreds of fears out there. Some we may find silly or ridiculous, but fears none the less. For example, Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing or washing. Alliumphobia is the fear of garlic (I suppose most Vampires would have this fear). Bibliophobia is the fear of books. Cacophobia is the fear of ugliness. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the picture. There are fears out there for everything...and I mean everything. From books to razors, toads to snakes. Fear of the number 13 to the fear of beautiful women. So what is your fear? Psychologists believe that admitting our fears help us in realising them and facing them more openly and evenly. Whatever helps you sleep at night, right?

I have included at the bottom of this blog a webpage. It is the "official" list of fears. It is alphabetized for those with the fear of disorder. It is a very interesting list and you may surprise yourself with what you find on it. Take a look, relax, and let us know what haunts your dreams. What is it that freezes you in your steps? I have avoided my blog posters responsibilities as of late, I have been lurking in the shadows reading your blogs but sending none of my own. I hope for this to change. I appreciate your kindness, and your willingness to read. I also love your comments and concerns. Please keep on keeping on, and I shall in turn keep on writing things for you to read.

http://www.phobialist.com/

Until next time...I think I saw a spider in the shower...

BOOOO !!!!!!

I found myself wondering at work the other day about Halloween. The why's and hows, the who's and what's. We all know Halloween as the holiday from our youth which we anxiously looked forward to almost, if not as long as, Christmas. For months beforehand, we would let EVERYone know what we were going to be, and how much candy we wanted to net. To a child, Halloween is the second most important holiday there is. Even more so than their own Birthday, but never as important than the day the jolly fat man visits.

Halloween is known throughout the world in hundreds of countires differently. In Latin American countries it is known as Noche de las Brujas (Night of the Witches). In others, it is still known as a Pagan holiday called All Hallows Eve, or even All Saints' Eve. In the early 19th century, a form of Samhain (Gaelic for Halloween) was brought to the North American Continent by Irish immigrants. Samhain was a festival marking the end of the summer and the end of the harvest. The term "Halloween" was in fact a shortened version of All Hallows Even. No matter the spelling or the actual name, Halloween has always been a celebration signifying the harvest and religious festivals. I'm not entirely sure, but I don't think people went door to door begging for candy in the early 19th century.

There are even traditions to have survived the years. The tradition of carving a pumpkin, or Jack-O-Lantern dates back to early Celtic legends. In the early days, a turnip or rutabaga was used instead of the pumpkin, but the meaning was always the same. Believing that the head was the most powerful part of the body containing the spirit and the knowledge, the Celts used the "head" of the vegetable to frighten off any superstitions. Today, we try each year to out do ourselves in carving the scariest, funniest, or cutest Jack-O-Lantern we can.

The symbolsim of Halloween is not in fact a legend, tale or even a tradition to have survived the years. Witches, Mummies, Ghosts, Ghouls, Devils and Monsters is all Hollywood. They do make for some cute and often gory costumes, but that is the extent of it.

Now that I have lectured you on the how's and why's. I'm looking for the what's and where's. I would like you constant reader to tell me why you enjoy Halloween so much. Do you feel you're still a kid at heart? Do you enjoy scaring the neighbor children to the point of cardiac arrest? What (if anything) makes this an entertaining and enjoyable holiday to you? Are there any traditions you and yours hold to? Do you enjoy the Haunted Houses? Is a good scare in your repertoire of tricks?

Last weekend, Jackie and three of her four kids came and spent the weekend with me. It was wonderful. We had a great time. After having gone down to Mt. Pleasant to pick up child number four, we went to the Castle of Chaos. The youngest of her brood was rather uncertain. Sweaty palms and constant pleadings of "Mommy, can we sit in the car and wait?" were met with "You're a big boy now Zachy, if you don't want to go, we won't". Once arriving at the sullen, downtrodden cashier, we found we could purchase "Monster Be Gone" passes for the young or faint of heart. This pass assured those who weren't fond of monsters that they would be protected. It worked like a charm. A flashing red light on the necklace Zach wore caused the actors inside to cower in fear. This gave him not only a boost of pride, but some resolve as well. Two minutes into the castle, and he was flashing anything that moved. Nothing touched him and he bravely protected his Mother and I. He came out of there happy, giggling, smiling and forever known as "Super Zach".

That is just one example of what one can do to celebrate this Holiday. Another one is in the decorating. There are many houses my parents and I would go to each year to see what new items had been added. Not all of these people continue the tradition of decorating anymore. As a matter of fact, the houses from my youth are all but gone now. There are still people who go all out on Halloween though. Coffins, spider webs, scary sounds and lights adorn every inch of their homes. Some inside and out. Some to the extent their homes can be seen on Google Earth. There is nothing wrong with it. It just has to come down before you decorate for Christmas is all. Unlike Christmas lights, Halloween lights get a funny look from people when left up all year long.

So here we come to the part I want to know about. What is it you do to make this holiday special for your little ghosts and goblins? What traditons do you have in your family or from your childhood that you have passed onto your witches and warlocks? Please do share constant reader. I as always look forward to your input and your responses.

I apologize for the delay in my blogging...a gentle rest for you all I'm sure. But trust me, there is more to come.

As always, Brandon

Aloha!

I'm back. It has been a short two weeks that seemed to go forever. I have seen much and done more, but alas, I'm happy to be home.

We started our trip with a 7 day cruise through the Mexican Riviera. This is not my first cruise, nor is it my first time through the Riviera portion of Mexico. The weather was warm here when we left, it was hot and humid there when we arrived. The way I like it...minus the humid part. I was happy to find out there were people aboard this cruise closer to my age. My last cruise was a 14 day cruise through the Panama Canal, and the average age aboard that one was 79. Stop laughing...it wasn't funny then and it still isn't. Ok, maybe a little. Anyway, there were perhaps 150 people aboard this ship in my age range, and a lot of very beautiful women. The crew was fantastic, the drinks were strong, and the views were magnificent. I have posted many pics on my facebook page for you to look at. I however was not impressed by the ship itself. This was my first sail with Royal Carribean as my last two times were aboard Carnival Cruise Lines. The ship (never call one those hulks a "boat") was smaller than I expected, and the activities were limited. They had a rock wall, and it was only open certain times of the day...usually while I was ashore or at dinner. They did however have many trivia contests which I am proud to say my team "the Braintrust" took a gold medal and several other prizes in. By the third day aboard, other teams were trying to join ours. That is where I met Jackie.

Jackie was sailing with her 18 year old daughter Nikki. They were behind us at the first trivia game, and I was smitten at once. Now Nikki is a very vibrant, beautiful, girl full of life and energy. She could be found dancing with people she didn't know or rooting our team on (they joined us by day 4) or trash talking other teams on our behalf. Jackie is much like her daughter. Outgoing, intelligent and amazingly beautiful. I knew I had to know her. The second time I saw the two of them they were playing trivia as we were headed to Bingo. I asked them if they were "getting their trivia on", and I recieved a look from Jackie that could freeze ice. A challenge...YES! Game on! I befriended Nikki to get to her Mother. I'm not ashamed of this..I used someone else to meet another. And I'm glad I did. Jackie is truly amazing. Once I got past the wall, I met someone very much like me.

Now I mentioned her intelligence. It rivals mine and I consider myself to be a very smart person. She can talk politics, religion or anything at hand. Another facet I enjoy. Did I mention her beauty? She is very beautiful...and tall. Another good sign. She enjoys fine wine and fine dining. She is adventurous and giving, sweet and gentle. She keeps me in check. She is the yin to my yang. She surprised me by showing up to the airport in Long Beach to see me off on my way home. Oh yeah, she lives in California. The one hurdle in an otherwise perfect so far relationship. But a good hurdle, it will force us to take things slowly. She has four kids, her oldest being Nikki. her next youngest is in school in Utah. Michael goes to Wasatch Academy in Mt. Pleasant. This being a good thing as we will now get to spend time together when she visits him. I look forward to our first visit this next weekend.

Jackie and I spent a lot of time together on the ship, walking and talking till the wee hours. We asked each other everything we could, and told each other everything we should. She was wonderful to be around. It was a good and a bad thing to have finally met her. Good because I was suprised by the wholeness of it, the excitement, the thrill of the chase if you will. Bad because it made the time go so much faster and the days whizzed by. We parted with the agreement to meet again, and a longing for each other.

The week after was spent in Hawaii. We landed in Honolulu around 10 pm with some minor jet lag and a need to find a place to sleep. Upon arriving at the hotel, we recieved two surprises. First, there was only rooms booked for four of us...there were eight in our traveling party...almost our own Fellowship of the Ring. Secondly, we had reserved rooms on the 14th floor but recieved rooms on the second floor. The front desk staff was not very friendly or helpful. My sister in law requested extra pillows, and we got them...three hours later. The next morning it was rise and shine...time to explore.

Waikiki is the most beautiful place I have visited to date. The streets were clean and free of debris, and the women wore bikinis everywhere. Hey! I met someone but I wasn't dead. It was a culture shock but we were still in the United States. I loved it, until I saw the prices for simple staples. Milk was almost $7 a gallon. I drink a lot of milk, but not at those prices...I could drink gasoline for cheaper. Ironic huh? We went to the beach and I was amazed at the splendor of the waves crashing onto shore. Water as clear and blue as a blown glass dolphin. There are swap meets everywhere, and I wandered and gazed in excitement. The people will bargain, but not always nicely. I found a rare Elvis zippo that one lady was asking $79 for...I balked and said I could find it cheaper at home..she not so kindly asked me to "find it at home". For the most part, I loved every minute in Hawaii and cannot wait to return.

While visitng Hawaii, we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center, and Pearl Harbor. Toursit sites for sure, but ones that should be visited at least once. The PCC (Polynesian Cultural Center) was both fascinating and intriguing. We learned native dances, greetings and customs. We saw all the uses for a coconut...including dental floss, and learned how to start a fire with tree branches. A lot of the people working at the PCC are students at the nearby campus of BYU, and are working towards degrees by volunteering their time. The PCC is return helps pay for their tuition. The finale of the day is a ceremony with dancing, fire, singing and excitement. It was a long day (almost 12 hours) but fun.

We also visited Pearl Harbor as a group. I have visited battlegrounds before, but this one holds a sense of hallowed wonder. It's in the air when you arrive, and it stays with you as you leave. The one simple act of betrayal launched The United States into a war they had no desire to fight. There are only two battleships and one submarine still visible today. The other battleships involved were repaired and sent back into waters to protect and serve. The USS Missouri is the only wounded battleship from that day still above water. It now stands as a tourist site, and a reminder. The USS Arizona sits below water under a monument erected to its demise. Its amazing to stand above its rusted remains and peer into the water knowing that there are still over 500 people buried in its twisted hull. To this day, oil still bubbles from somewhere inside the ship, rising to the surface to be seen by all. There are pictures of this on my facebook page as well.

As I said earlier, I am glad to be home. I would love to take another extended vacation someday, but I'm not sure I would do it in such a large group. There were times of bitter resentment, times of stupidity, and times of frustration and anger. Typical family vacation for sure. This will not be my last cruise, and will surely not be my last visit to Hawaii. I look forward to seeing the other islands.

I have enjoyed regaling you all with my adventures, and will now take some time to read your blog pages. I have missed writing to you, but missed reading yours more. Feel free to look at the pictures taken and feel free to comment on anything you like. Until our next reading time...Aloha

HA HA HAAA...HEE HEE HEE

Yesterday on the radio they were talking about the new Entertainment Weekly magazine list of the 25 best comedies of the last 25 years. The top honors went to Ghostbusters. I'm as surprised as you are. Don't get me wrong, I thought Ghosbusters was funny, just not No. 1 funny. My tastes in movies run off color of those of many I'm sure, and that is part of what makes me unique. So in this blog, I thought I'd poll you, my constant readers, on what YOU thought should be named the No. 1 comedy of the last 25 years.

Now like I said, my tastes run different and often even afoul of most and many. To me, Monty Python desereved top billing over Ghostbusters. Among the list in the top ten were...There's Something About Mary (one of my favorites), The Big Lebowski, Nat'l Lampoon's Vacation, Office Space ( excuse me...you've got my stapler), South Park, and Beverly Hills Cop. All great comedies. All worth watching more than once if that is your taste in comedies.

I grew up on funny movies. As a youth in the ghetto of West Valley I was raised on movies like M.A.S.H., Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein (puttin on the Riiitzzz), and of course The Cannonball Run series. All wonderful movies with extremely wonderful comedians. Nowadays, anyone can make a movie and call it a comedy. I've seen some movies listed in the comedy section of Blockbuster that should have filed under crap. I have never found movies about drug use/abuse funny. Dazed and Confused was also on the top ten list...I never thought it to be rremotely funny. This is Spinal Tap..also on the top ten list...again, NOT funny. But that is only my critique. I'm not you, and you may have found them to be hilarious.

I am quite fond of quoting a funny line from a movie. It's amazing how easily some of the best lines in some of the best movies will fit into everyday normal conversation. If I am ever on a boat being attacked by a 30 foot Great White, I can't wait to say "You're gonna need a bigger boat". My boss at work is always testing me on my movie knowledge..asking me to "name the actor" or even "name the movie". Please!!! I managed a Blockbuster for several years, and I own over 2,000 movies. I'm a movie buff. An officionado. A geek of cinema. The one category I excel at in trivial pursuit? You guessed it...Movies. When I worked for Blockbuster, other store managers would call me when a customer came in asking for "That one movie with that girl who does that thing and then falls for that guy"...you know the one. I speak a form of cinemaese and can often answer their query and find them the movie they seek.

I've rambled and I apologize. I've named a few comedies and expressed my thoughts on them. What would I consider the best comedy of the last 25 years....that's a tough one. I don't think I could name a favorite...not just one anyway. I like to laugh. I like to make other people laugh. I am not against raunchy comedy to gain a laugh. It all boils down to what you like doesn't it? So here is your chance. Tell me what makes you laugh. What movie jumps out at you as the funniest? What movie do you think will make the list 25 years from now?

This will be my last post for a few weeks. I leave Sunday for a two week vacation in Mexico and Hawaii. I will miss reading your blogs as well as reading your comments to this one. Maybe I will use the "bigger boat" line on the Captain of the cruise ship....think he'll buy it?

Take care of yourselves and take care of each other. Laughter truly IS the best medicine and I don't ever doubt its potency. Remember...it takes 23 muscles to frown and only 2 to smile....or something like that. But if a frown is an upside down smile...great, now I'm confused.

Missing you all already....be back before you know it. Gracias and Mahalo Brandon

Rated "R"

For some reason on the way home tonight, I started thinking about violence and the impact it has on society as a whole. It's in movies, on TV, commercials include some, and music today has violence in it. Noone can be entirely shielded from it, it is virtually everywhere. I started to wonder if maybe as a society we had become desensitized to it. We see, hear and know about it daily, so it stands to reason this could be in fact true.

Voltaire was quoted as saying "Violence is the first refuge of the incompetent". Sounds like he knew his stuff. But where does it begin? Where does it end? Can we do anything to control it? Psychologists have studied this for years....long before Columbine or Oklahoma City. Decades before John Kennedy or Charles Manson. Some believe violence is inherant...to some extent I agree. If a child grows up knowing violence, his tendency towards it are far greater. But not always 100% mind you. Nothing is certain. A child growing up in a loving home surrounded by siblings who leads an ernest, honest life can turn bad. Look at Ted Bundy. He was an Eagle Scout. He was an honor student. He was a notorious serial killer.

Movies today promote violence for ticket sales. The almighty dollar has become a leading factor in what and how much violence to include in movies. I hate to burst your bubble folks, but Harry Potter and even your beloved Twilight deal on a violence premise. The more violent, the more gory, the more improbable a movie is, the higher the box office. Why do you think horror movies fare so well at the box office? They could release Halloween XVI in July and it would break 100 million.

I mentioned music as well. I could list 3,500 artists (no exageration) who have included violence in one form or another in their lyrics. Carrie Underwood sings of revenge by "Carving my name into his leather seats". Not all violence must include another person. Violence is defined as "Physical force exercised to damage, injure or destroy". Violence can be viewed as psychological, physical, mental, or even spiritual. The burning of a cross by Nazi supremists connotates spiritual persecution and the promise of physical violence.

Now what about simple TV commercials desigend to make us think or possibly laugh? The wife hitting her husband upside the head and stating "You couldda had a V-8". The drunk driving commercials aired by the numerous lawyers and ambulance chasers. Are these images we want todays youth to see and think are "just natural"? I personally am not offended by anything. I don't watch a lot of TV. I honestly could care less. Do I play violent video games? Absolutely. Would I allow a 7 or 8 year old to play the games I play? Not a freakin chance.

There has been and always will be talk of gun control. Nothing will ever come of it. We can write every congressman and we can storm every Capitol Hill, but guns will always be a part of this nation and it's survival. I don't own a gun, but my house is finely decorated in knives. I have dragon handle knives, bone handle knives, knives as long as my arm, some smaller than my pinky. There are knives only I know where to find. I honestly pity the poor dumb person who breaks into my house. You may own a gun, but you'll get one shot...than it's game on. This doesn't mean I condone violence, only protection of what's mine. Survival of the fittest if you will.

I think I have expressed myself as well as I am going to get. I truly would love to hear what your thoughts are on this subject. Again, and as always, there is no right or wrong. If you feel my opinion is biased, tell me, I only get angered at hidden agendas. I hope I have not upset anyone, and as always I honor and trust your feelings.

On a lighter note, for those of you who may not know yet, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince has been pushed back by the studios to next July 17th. Now THAT angers me. And also for those of you not aware, movie ratings are now defined by the amount of smoking involved in it. That's right, if more than 3 cigarettes are lit, it's an auotmatic "R" rating. Were I an actor, all my movies would be rated "R".

Peace, love and ticklish feelings.............Brandon

Do You ???

I haven't added any blogs of late...I guess I have been hiding, keeping to myself if you will. But as I was attempting to pay attention at work a few days back, I thought of another questionaire to add here. Nothing fancy or embarassing. Something that will help us all get to know each other a little better. Shall we begin ?

1. Do you lick the top of the yogurt lid? (either the pastic or the foil one)

2. Do you Discipline other people's children (family doesn't count here)

3. Do you drink out of the milk carton when noone is around or noone can see you?

4. Do you always eat what's on your plate, even if you do not like it?

5. Do you often wonder how different your life could be?

6. Do you offer advice freely or abstain and bite your tongue?

7. Do you corect the gramer/spelling mestakes of others?

8. Do you wonder about the futute of our country when looking at today's youth?

9. Do you find your life lacking in any way?

10. Do you possess a talent noone knows about or you are to shy to exhibit?


There you have it. Nothing bad, nothing too exploratory. And as I have in the past, I will answer my own questions. So here it goes.

1. Oh yeah! Free sample taste...nothing wrong with it

2. I wouldn't say I discipline them exactly...but I will correct them or tell them to "knock it off"
if they are to become annoying or bothersome.

3. Sure enough. I have since I was old enough to hold the milk carton. If they didn't want you
drinking out of it, they wouldn't have made it fit your mouth so well.

4. Nope...never...why would I eat something I know I don't like...enough with the brocolli already
Mom!

5. All the time. I wish I was filthy rich and well known the world round. I would be a paparazzi
dream come true. I have always wanted the celebrity lifestyle. The red carpets, the public
relationships in all the magazines. The embarassing pictures of standing on your driveway
naked reading the paper in front of a tour bus. Who wouldn't?

6. I have always been giving in the advice department. I feel if they didn't want it, they wouldn't
ask. I feel I give good advice, but I never take my own however.

7. Oh yeah...constantly. Whether it's in my head or physically on paper, I find I correct spelling
mistakes all the time. I can spot them easily and it's probably a form of OCD, but oh well.
How many mistakes did you spot in the question asking you this??

8. Are you kidding?? If todays' youth is the example of our country's future...we are screwed!
We are going to have a President in 20 years with his pants around his knees and a sideways
baseball cap and alot of "bling". Instead of addressing the nation's problems he will text them
to us. I find myself constantly disappointed in the youth of today. They are lazy, rude,
have no sense of urgency and I'm sorry to say, most are ignorant. It makes me wonder if we
were like that 20 years ago.

9. Sometimes I do. Of course there is the whole alone thing, but I don't really find myself lacking
in that area. I have many friends and they all RAWK! so no, I'm not lacking there. I would
love to travel the world, see new things, spend time on every continent. I'm still younger then
I will be tomorrow, so there is time.

10. I have many talents I don't show on a regular basis. Some are idiotic for sure, others are just
plain useless. I can unwrap a starburst or tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. I can
do other things that are just not worth sharing too. :)

So ok. There you have it. Now it's your turn of course. Reach down, take hold of those answers and let them fly from your fingers to the screen. I look forward to reading your answers. I thank you again for taking the time to read my drudgery. I will attempt one more post before my two week sabatical. Be good to small animals, be nice to large ones, and always smile at your kids....they will wonder what they did wrong.

Until next time..........Brandon

The Ex

I haven't posted in a while, and I don't know if I should apologize or be happy for you. I guess lately I have had alot on my mind. Back in December of last year I began dating a girl I found to be both interesting and absolutely beautiful. She works at one of my steel supply companies, and I had dealt with her daily on the phone for several months. She was at that time going through a nasty divorce to a man who had after 17 years of marriage decided that the 19 year old he met through a friend was more exciting than she was.

Anyway, we dated for several months and it had progressed to the point of her spending many nights a week at my place when she didn't have her kids. Now normally this type of behaviour (the nesting type) scares the hell out of me. As you all know by now, I have a commitment phobia. I have been hurt/screwed over/played far too often to be openly trusting. Stop going "awww"...it happens. I cannot honestly in good conscience say I haven't been the one playing the games at one or more points in my life, but she was different. The first time I saw her (knowing only her voice to this point) I was speechless. Tall, beautiful, crystal blue eyes, a smile that could stop traffic, and a body that wouldn't quit.

As it turned out, we had much in common, and we enjoyed each other's company. She spoke Spanish (limited, and not always "fluently"), she was a fantastic cook, she tried to play a mean game of pool, and she was very into 80's music. After the first date we realized that in high school we both frequented the same dance club every friday night ( The Ritz ). So in fact, we knew each other 20 years ago, and I clearly remember her hating me then. Anyway, we got along perfectly. Almost too perfectly...you know...when you get along so well you get the feeling something is wrong. That was us.

I never got to meet her boys (she had three of them), but I did get to meet her sister. We got along famously. I even introduced her sister to a single friend of mine. We spent every minute we could together. I even introduced her to my parents...I never do that...EVER!! A stupid mistake I won't soon make again. I bought her gifts for no reason, I let her beat me at chess, I drew her a picture she wanted ( again, something I never do). It seemed like it was "the one".

I am not what you would expect when it comes to relationships. Most if not all of my exes have been pleasantly surprised. I may be emotionally crippled, but in the romance department I could write a book. I would get to work at least an hour before she would each day, and I would call and leave a voice message on her phone everyday. It would be anything from the sappy sugary sweet to the off-the-wall goofy. Whenever she awoke at my place, there was always a hot cup of coffee with a note ( if you have read my blog posted "dear", you know what one of the notes actually read). When she got "home" after work, her favorite singer (Alicia Keys) was on the stereo and a drink was waiting for her. I treated her as she wished her husband would have when she was married. Her marriage was one of convenience, as she got pregnant early and felt it was the best/only way.

In March of this year, she sent me an email letting me know she had fallen for me. I apologized. She then went on to say that she thought she could never again trust a man to not hurt her. That she thought sex was all men wanted. She went as far as to say she loved me. Now after almost five months together, it seemd natural. However, those three words are poison. Whenever anyone has uttered those words...the crap usually hits the proverbial fan. In this case, it seemed to go over rather well. Now mind you, I did not return the sentiment right away. I'm emotionally crippled remember. Plus the fact I don't just throw those words around. It took a few weeks of hearing her say it and seeing her attempt to prove it before I gave in.

The last weekend in March, we had planned to go away together. Her husband had the boys for Easter, so she would be alone that weekend. She called me late that Friday night, two hours after I had expected her to tell me she wasn't feeling well. I said ok...get yourself better and we will talk tomorrow. The next morning I got a text message from her sister asking if "you two are having a good weekend together"? I text her back telling her we weren't together because her sister was sick. The response I got was not what I thought I would. She told me "Oh, well that's weird cuz she didn't come home last night".

Well as it turns out she had been dating someone who worked with for a few weeks up to this point, and rather than telling me she just stopped calling and returning my texts. The damndest thing is I still have to talk to her at least once a week when I order steel. She still acts like nothing happened. She asks me all the time how I am doing. She calls me "sweety" all the time after repeated requests that she didn't. Today she got re-married to the man she cheated on me with. I found out through someone she worked with when I called yesterday to order some stuff and was told she wasn't in.

I don't know why I shared this, and I certainly don't know what I expect to gain from posting it. I guess maybe I feel it therapeutic to address it so. Either way, I still get bummed every now and then when I think about what we had. I have been asked out since then, but have found convenient excuses to not go. It's not that I'm not ready, and it's not that I can't handle it, I am just not interested anymore. I know , I know, there are plenty more fish in the sea...don't worry about me. I haven't changed in the humor department, and I haven't given up entirely.

Thanks for allowing me to vent. Thank you for your diligence. I hope you enjoy the new editions to the blog page. My next blog won't be so maudlin I promise. Be good to one another and remember to be kind and rewind.

P.S. 27 years ago today, 8-16, Elvis Presley died at Bethesda Memorial Hospital in Memphis.

Getting to Know You

As I have been posting these relentless, boring soliloquies, I have read every comment in hopes of understanding those who read these a little better. For the most part, my eyes have been opened and I have seen into those souls who willingly allowed me to do so. But now is the time to really put yourself out there...tell us who you are...let us all know you better. C'mon...you know you want to. I have designed a little quiz. Now stop biting your nails and fretting, it's not multiple choice and there are no wrong answers. It's a simple questionaire designed to open yourself up and allow us a peek inside. Nothing embarassing (well almost nothing), and nothing you can be blackmailed for later. Shall we begin?

1. What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?

2. What is your favorite color and why?

3. Do you have any current ambitions?

4. Leftover pizza--hot or cold?

5. What one regret do you have in life?

6. To date, what is your proudest moment?

7. To date, what is your most embarassing moment?

8. What is your worst habit?

9. What offends you the most?

10. What is one thing you want to do but don't have the guts to?

Simple enough. Nothing racy or drastic. Of course I couldn't in good spirit ask you to do something I am not willing to, so here are my answers...

1. My greatest accomplishment is my friends. They have been by my side through thick and thin, good and bad. I have not always been the best person to know, but they have never faltered.

2. My favorite color is black. It is both slimming and goes with anything.

3. I have many ambitions, but two stand out in my mind. I always wanted to be an actor, and I have always wanted to be on Jeopardy!

4. Leftover pizza--definitely cold..re-heated is nasty!!

5. I have many regrets in life. Some I will never speak of, and some are just silly. One regret I think of now is never telling the girl in high school I had a crush on her ( I still talk to her and she still doesn't know).

6. My proudest moment was cutting my son's umbilical cord. Yes, you read that correctly, and we will leave it at that.

7. Most embarassing moment? When Veigh and I were 16 or 17 we were summer clerks for Food 4 Less and while stocking shelves one day I was called for a price check. I picked up the private phone all gorcery stores have and thought I had heard the item correctly. I ran down the aisle, looked and ran back to the overhead phone system. I picked up the phone and asked over the speakers for all to hear "The kind you push in with your thumb or hammer in?" Well...what I thought I heard as thumbtacks turned out to be a price check on Tampax. Oops...

8. My worst habit by far is biting my nails. I have since I was a child

9. People who don't have all the facts about something before they speak openly about it offends me. There is nothing worse than blatant ignorance. "Tis better to appear foolish than to open your mouth and remove all doubt".

10. I have a great respect for sharks, but I would never have the guts to swim with them. I find them fascinating but deadly. I have a very real fear of sharks and can not go into an ocean because of it.

Wow! That wasn't too bad. I have opened my soul to you. Nothing bad. Nothing too painful. I understand if there are questions you choose to skip, but please try not to. I appreciate your time, your patience and your openess. As Wayne Newton has said many many times...Danke Schoen.

Brandon

Other People's Kids

I had the chance to visit my parents house yesterday, and was not surprised to find my 5 year old niece Kayla there. She is by far the most interesting child I know. She is a free thinker and often times can be found off in her own little world oblivious to all around her. She has this routine where she wakes from her nap, creeps to the top of the stairs and asks "Gramma..can I wake up now"? My parents do alot of babysitting for my sister, so like I said, it was no surprise to find her there. Immediately upon seeing me, she breaks into a huge grin and comes bounding down the stairs at break-neck speed, and launches herself into my arms from about 40 feet away. Kayla is a shy girl at first, but once you get her talking....I pity you. She can ramble with the best of them, and can tell you what all her "dollies" have been up to since you last saw her. She has at last count around 10 million "dollies". She knows all their names, and she can remember exactly who gave them to her. She can tell you their back stories, their work history, and even their birthdays, but she cannot remember to flush the toilet. Like I said...an interesting child.

Kayla has a 7 year old brother named Jonathan. The child was born at about 30 lbs and has since grown into most of it. When he was a baby, he was a large head with stubby little legs. I still to this day call him "head". He takes this ribbing good naturedly and has even learned to kid himself about his abnormally large head, going so far as to inform Grandma that "I hope the t-shirt will fit over my head". He is a very intelligent, well spoken, and even keeled young man. For some of what he has been through, he is well adjusted. And he is an entrepeneur in the making. If you promise him a nickel for pulling weeds, you had better have the cash. He doesn't forget! And he does nothing for free. What ever happened to the free child labour of our youth? If you offer him a quarter for picking up apples, he will mull it over and respond with "Hmmm...how about 3 quarters"? I see alot of myself in him...the intelligence, the zest for life, the adventurous side, and the ability to talk to anyone. My heart aches for the little guy sometimes. His mother and father are divorced, and although his father is an idiot, he still wants a father figure in his life but has none.

Kayla and Jon are your typical rowdy, never listen, wild, loving kids. They can get into trouble with the best of them. I am proud to say that some of the trouble they get into is of my doing ( I put them up to alot of "deeds"). I want to test their loyalty is all...I swear. They fight like other kids. They loooove to be tickled by Uncle Brandon. They are avid Harry Potter fans, and can recite the movies verbatim. Jonathan is always spelling words for me, and Kayla is learning to read. Yesterday she informed she could read a whole book by herself. I thought that to be wonderful and challenged her to read to me. Grabbing a book, she climbed onto my lap and proceeded to read to me . " Can..you..find..the..duck.."? "Can..you..find..the..dog"? Etc, Etc. At this point I realised that the book she was reading was one she had memorized. So I decided to mix things up with her, and turned to the back cover and asked her to read it to me. She looked at me with big brown eyes, and said " I can't, it's in Spanish". I smiled at her, kissed the top of her head and said "Good...Uncle Brandon knows Spanish too". She looked to Gramma for help, and got none. For the next thrity minutes we worked over the phrase in the back of the book. It turns out it was in English, and Kayla has now memorized the back cover as well as the entire inside of that book. She won't be fooled next time.

Being typical children, there is a rivalry going on there as well. They are always vying for affection, attention, and favor from anyone they can. They haven't yet realised they are both equally loved. Now being only 5, and weighing roughly the same as a bag of carrots, Kayla is a feisty one. She takes no guff, and never backs down. She has been a growler since she was a baby. Always growling when she doesn't get her way. She has problem smacking the snot out of Jon if he crosses her (which he does with great frequency).

Jonathan is learning grown-up things. He loves helping his Mother cook, and has recently discovered showering versus bathing. He thinks he is the king now that he can shower at Grammas and Grampas house. My parents house has two bathrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs. As with most if not all households the water pressure is never right. If you are taking a shower and someone flushes...well you know. Jon has learned this. He has learned by example. He has been scalded more than once, and always by Kayla. Here is the conversation that took place recently....

Jon: (storming up the stairs in a towel) " Danggit Kayla, I told you not to the flush the toilet when I'm in the shower".

Kayla: "Why? Does it get on you when I do"?

Jon: "No"

Kayla ( rather sadly) "Oh"

Devious she is. And did I mention free-spirited? My Dad's favorite time of the week is Fridays. He picks Kayla up from daycare. As he sits in the truck waiting for her to return from school, he watches the line of kids trudging along, looking as if it is their last day on earth. And then there's Kayla....bopping and bouncing and skipping along. Upon seeing Grampa's truck she waves excitedly and yells "Hi, Grampa", to which all the children trundling along yell in unison "Hi, Grampa". Kids....gotta love em.

I want to get serious for a minute. This last week another person was arrested in what I consider utter stupidity. Who in their right mind would take a two year child to a midnight showing of a movie and leave them un-attended in the car? What kind of brain dead moron allowed this person to be a parent? How and why are these people still re-populating? I'm not a parent and even I know that what he did is inexcusable and wrong. If you have plans, leave your child where they can be watched over. If a movie is more important than your child, don't have children.

There has been a great uprising and public outcry for the woman in Centreville who "forgot" her child in a car for a few hours resulting in the childs death. I honestly feel she was not treated fairly. Her negligent actions resulted in the death of her child. She recieves a slap on the hand and a stern talking to????? Please!! Had the child been taken and ended in the same fate, the person responsible would have been sent to prison. Why is it that you can be responsible enough to pro-create, but not be held responsible when you KNOWINGLY put your child in harms way? I am both disgusted and saddened whenever I read a story like this in the paper or hear it on the news. I understand that people get busy and often times forgetful. I also understand that life can be hectic. But to forget your child for three hours AFTER you bring in groceries?? To visit a friend and not have them ask you "Where's the new baby"? Something is wrong in todays society when children are dying due to neglect and stupidity. The most wonderful thing about the country we live in is this...free speech. On that note, I want to express my opinion. I hope the parents of these children are haunted to the end of their days. I hope everyday is a hell to them. I hope they look at happy kids playing and think "that could've been me".

I apologize if my venting at the end offended or hurt anyone. I merely wanted to express my opinions and beliefs. I am done ranting now. I am calm. I am on my way to a family BBQ where I plan on teasing my niece and nephew until they are exhausted and go to bed knowing how much they are loved. I wish you all the very best 24th. I wish you safety and happiness. If after reading this, you gather your children and hug/kiss them...very well indeed. Peace be with you all, and thank you for who you are.

Brandon

Dear......

Dear....

You are sleeping now, but I wanted to write you a note to brighten your day. I'm sorry I won't be here when you wake. The highlight of my day is seeing you first thing in the morning. I covered you before I left, you were shivering my darling. If you find yourself smiling today for no apparent reason, it is because I am thinking of you and smiling too.

I long to hold you, but know I must wait. I ache to see you, but need only close my eyes. My life with you has been wonderful. I desire you with every fiber of my being, and admire you in ways words cannot express. You bring joy and happiness to an otherwise lonely soul. I regret not meeting you sooner, but wouldn't trade a second. You are my everything.

You call me your hero, but it is you that has saved me. You suprise me daily with your depth of understanding and your bottomless well of patience. I cannot fathom to think where I would be without you.

I will have dinner for you tonight when you get home. Please allow me to make tonight yours. It is the least I can do to show my love.

I love seeing your face every morning, and knowing that you are still here, but it is night I look forward to most. It is in my dreams I find you, and in my heart daily I keep you.

I can see you now, twirling your hair between two fingers and smiling. Dry your eyes lover, this is a happy letter. Thank you for making me what I am. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for loving me. Your strength inspires me, your passion drives me.

All my everything. Now, forever and always.

.............



I have no idea where that came from.....weird!

Singleness

O.K., when I joined Facebook, I listed myself as single. Little did I know what I would be getting into. Since then, my email inbox has become inundated with offers to join singles sites. Even on facebook, there are offers that run 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Now I may not be the only one who receives these little offers, and if I am in fact not the only one, than I sympathize. They don't bother me, I actually find them amusing if anything. What amuses me the most is the strikingly beautiful girl who appears in the ad stating that she too is single. Yeah! Right! I understand that it's a money ploy. Preying on the weak minded. Offering salvation from the lonely nights of microwavable mac & cheese and Will & Grace re-runs. What ever flips your skirt up I say. But thanks to those ads on facebook, I now know I am NOT the only professional, over 30, Christian, Jewish, single Muslim in my area. WHEW! That is always a good thing to know. Useful information right there.

That basically led me to this entry. I thought since I have no desire to meet someone through a singles network who not only lies about their occupation but standard appearance, I would post my singles page here. Where noone can see it and all can view it. Where there is no hope for acceptance or chance of rejection. I would post the picture of my face on Brad Pitts body, but I lost it...my apologies. Now mind you, rejection is part of the game...and I have been told I'm a playa. So....GAME ON !!!!!!

Single, 36 year old male. I am a professional steel fabricator and amateur comedian. I enjoy long walks in the cool night air ( moonlight optional ), trivia, reading, poetry, crossword puzzles in bed, crime scene t.v., cooking, outdoor activities ( summertime preferably ), and beautiful women. I am an adamant reader, and consider myself well read and intelligent. I can form complete sentences without using the word "like", and do not discuss politics. I have been told I have the heart of a child ( it's in a jar on my desk). I enjoy many forms of music, and always appreciate a good version of Amazing Grace on the bagpipes. Ave Maria is one of my most favorite songs, and lately have enjoyed the version performed by Il Divo. I enjoy opera and have seen Phantom of the Opera, Les Miserables, Madame Butterfly, and Don Giovanni several times each. Movies and movie trivia is a passion of mine, and I prefer sitting on the couch versus fighting a crowd. I smoke and partake of the occasional "spirit". I am DDF (NO! not a Divorced Dad of Five...Drug/Disease Free ). I am adventurous, outgoing, slightly over-weight, funny, witty, charming, quiet, talkative, artistic, and curious. I am full of useless information, and like taking the "Asimov" quiz in the paper everyday. I can multi-task, but I cannot juggle efficiently. I am an honest to goodness, tried and true smartass. I am a snoring, bed hog....it IS my bed.

I seek a beautiful, passionate, sensitive, outgoing, adventurous, spontaneous, caring woman to share those talked about walks. I look for someone I can trust and share with. Someone who has a smile to rival the stars in the night sky. When she walks into a room, I want to be able to forget my own name. The envy of every woman, and the desire of every man. A face I look forward to seeing every morning. Lips I long to kiss every passing minute. She must be able to hold her own end in an arguement, and learn that the past belongs in the past. She must know that absolutely no good can come from living in the past. Strong, passionate, desirable, and mind numbingly beautiful are wonderful traits to possess. She should be over 5'6'' as I am 5'15''. She must fit perfectly in my arms, and understand there is a time and a place for PDA (public displays of affection ). A good sense of humor is a bonus, understanding mine a plus. Drug/Disease Free an absolute must! Knowing every word to every song in Grease appreciated. Willingness to experience new things even if not fully interested always a great thing. The ability to see into my soul not necessary, but proceed with caution. She must be strong yet in need of support. Employment is desired. A down to earth, grounded dreamer sought. Acceptance of all my friends no matter how odd they may be a must. I seek one who sees the world through child-like eyes, and admires the simple beauty life can offer. Someone who will break out in song or dance even if they can't sing or dance. Tattoos, piercings and children all ok...as long as kept to a minimal degree.

Well, there you have it. My expectations are high, I know. But I don't feel I should settle. I know I'm no prize, but I know what I want. I guess the reason I don't post this on the internet dating sites is mainly because I don't need them. I still date occasionally. I went on a date this last weekend. It was horrible, a disaster. I now know everything about my dates ex-boyfriend. More than I feel I wanted or needed to know. It's dates like those that make me feel like I am wasting my time and effort. I know all the pick-up lines ( most would make you blush), and I've never been accused of being "shy" or "introverted". I'm not as young as I was yesterday, and I'm not afraid to be alone. But there are some things in life that are far more enjoyable with someone on your arm.

So...now that I know I'm not alone ( the internet told me so...and it never lies ), the search continues. I know that many of my friends wish I would settle down...get married and re-produce. I know my mother wishes I would. One step at a time for now. So anyway...there is my singles site dating application. Not worth $30 a month to post is it???

As always, thank you for reading. Feel free to comment, shake your head or roll your eyes. Ave Maria just came on...I think I'll relax and close my eyes and listen. Goodnight folks


Brandon

Reading Pt.2

As you will notice, on the right I have added a few things. One of which is a links list to many authors and their websites. This list is far from complete, and I welcome any input in the additions. Also, you will notice some links to my favorite blogs. I love reading what is going on in the wacky world of the Tonks family (crunchy bottoms still kills me), or the fascinating life of the Wilson family (the battery episode could have turned out one of two ways..."positive" or "negative"). As I am not allowed to have children left alone in my care, I live my life vicariously through yours. Please let me know if there are other blog pages I need to add. I will read them all and laugh/cry/strangle the children right along side you.

Today I want to discuss my reading habits. I often have people ask me "what do you like to read"? Easy...anything but romance (yuuuck), or autobiographies. I know I have said this before, but today I thought I would go over some of my favorites with you, and let you decide if you in fact might enjoy them as well.

First off, my all time favorite author. Stephen King. Now before you grunt in dismay, know that not all of his books are horror in nature. His Gunslinger series is a wonderfully written period piece about well...gunslingers. There is also The Eyes of the Dragon, a book he wrote for his son that is more of a fairy tale than anything. The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon is a beautiful, tear jerker of a book about a lost girl and what she does to survive on her own. Bag of Bones and Lisey's Story are about a love lost, and the ones left behind to prevail. Both beautiful books. His latest, Duma Key, is a good book for all the die-hard Vampire readers out there. Eyes of the Dragon, and the Gunslinger books (7 in all) good for younger folk. Most of the other a little advanced in nature.

Next I think we will discuss Dean Koontz. Now like the above mentioned author, he has dwelt alot in the supernatural. But not all of his works are the same. His Odd Thomas series (4 in all) is well read, and well written. My favorite book of his would be One Door Away from Heaven. If you can read this one and NOT fall in love with the little girl Leilani Klonk...you're stronger than I am. I would ok Dean for reading by anyone above 12 years of age.

Anne Rice of course did the Vampire Chronicles ( Lestat, Interview With a Vampire, Queen of the Damned, Etc.), but she has also written books about witches, and her latest delves into the spiritual side of things. Her writing style is fascinating, her stories seem to tell themselves. She is definitely not for everyone. Not reccomended for teens under age 15, unless they truly enjoy scaring the crap out themselves.

Jeffery Deaver is responsible for giving us The Bone Collector. His series about Lincoln Rymes and Det. Amelia Sachs are wonderful to read. They include The Coffin Dancer, The Stone Monkey, and The Twelvth Card among many others. Good detective who-dunnits. I have yet to solve one before the end. Not suitable for children/adolescents due to language, murder and other thematic elements.

James Patterson is one of those authors who appears to be able to write about anything. His serial thrillers The Womens Murder Club are good, easy fun reads. He has written lovey dovey books as well, like Bleachers. He also writes detective novels like Mary Mary, Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, and Kiss the Girls (also a movie). I enjoy his works, and find I can usually read one of his books in a few days.

Terry Goodkind is a fantastic fantasy author. I read his first book and was hooked. His stories are the "adult" version of Harry Potter. There is dragons, magic and creatures. There are 9 or 10 books in the series, and I wouldn't suggest these books for kids under 13 due to some rape (nothing descriptive), and there is war/death. But I would suggest them for anyone fascinated by these types of stories.

John Grisham is the man to read if you enjoy a good courtroom drama. I like his books, and the good guy always wins. What more can I say?? Nothing wrong with letting the kiddies read these.

Now we come to some female authors. I, unlike my boss, am not adverse to reading a book by a woman. Patricia Cornwell is a great read if you enjoy books about forensics and the steps used to solve violent crimes. She is a noted Forensic Specialist, and she is also Chief Medical Examiner for the state of West Virginia ( I think). She was at one time a lawyer, and speaks well on legal matters too. Please visit her website for the list of her books in order. I made the mistake of reading book 5 first. Makes more sense to start at the beginning.

Another fascinating female author is Kathy Reichs. She too writes books on forensics, and solving violent crimes. I would not compare her to Patricia Cornwell, as their writing styles are very different. Kathy uses alot of French (she is the Anthroplogy Specialist in both the United States and Quebec, Canada), but aside from that her books are addicting. I have started reading her only recently, and have enjoyed the three I have read so far. Her main character Temperrance Brennan is the same one the T.V. series "Bones" is based on.

I would read one of these first before allowing your kids take a gander. Both contain harsh language, scenes of brutal violence, and some sexual themes. There are also some lovely morgue/autopsy descriptions.

Janet Evanovich writes some humorous books about Stephanie Plum, a female bounty hunter who can toss it up and kick butt with the best of them. I enjoy her books for a good laugh, and where NOT to hide if there is ever a female bounty hunter after me.

Now although this list isn't complete, it should give some idea into what I read, and what I would allow my children (if I was allowed to have any) to read. If I had to suggest books for the younger group, you can't go wrong with The Spiderwick Chronicles, Lemony Snickets, The Hobbitt, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Eragon series, or even Harry Potter. There is also my all time favorite young adult author...Roald Dahle. He brought us Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, and James and the Giant Peach. Anything written by Judy Blume is great for young or pre-teen girls. And let us not forget Superfudge.

So there you have it. What I like to read. And I do read alot. I usually have three or four books going at one time, and I tend to finish around 50-65 books a year. If the book truly grabs me, I will re-read it over and over. My copies of The Hobbitt and the subsequent trilogy are old, worn out and dog-eared, but still among my all time favorites.

Now please stop by the other blogs I have listed and lose yourself in the life/lives of others. If you know of anything I have left out, or if you would like to add something, please do. As always, I value your opinions and your comments. If you have any questions on the authors I have listed, I'm here for you friend. Be good, be wise, and never be without a good book.


P.S. The reason I'm not allowed around children is I tend to mess with their little heads. I'm a bad influence on young, unfetered minds. Just a warning if you're ever looking for a babysitter.

Until next time............................ Brandon

Expectations

I recently had an experience with a sales clerk that led me to this post. What I would like to discuss is our expectations in this world. What do we feel we deserve when we dine out, or buy our groceries, or even just stop for a cup of coffee in the morning? What exactly do we feel we are owed??

First off, let me tell you where I come from. My resume can honestly boast over 16 years in the customer service industry. 11 of those years were in restaurant management (Ponderosa, The Pie, Mulboon's, Rocky Mtn. Pizza), and the remainder in service industries such as Target or even 7-11. Right out of high school I was wating tables and worked my way into management. I have since chosen a different occupation, but the lessons taught to me are still there. I know what I offered then...and I know what I expect now.

The other day, like every work morning, the man I carpool with and I stopped at the 7-11 for our morning ritual. We have stopped every morning for the past 16 months or so. The same lady is there every morning. By now, after being asked over 300 times for my I.D. when buying cigarettes, I tend to get a little irate. Anyway, this particular morning something had definitely planted itself firmly in this womans' rear end. She went on and on about how the Budweiser delivery guy had actually dared "tell her what to do." As I appraoched the counter she was ranting to Hispanic man about it. The ONE person in the store who didn't speak a lick of English, and she just wouldn't let it go. He politely nodded and smiled, not knowing what in the world this crazy person was going on about. My turn comes and I lay down my juice, my croissant ( ain't I dainty?), and my daily newspaper. She scans the newspaper twice, and the guy I work with informs her of this. She looks at him and says "Oh, you're one of those". I politely asked her what she meant by it and she responded with "One of those that likes to tell others how to do their jobs." I simply stated that in fact he was informing her of a mistake that could cost her company money. She decided to go on the offensive.....WRONG move to choose around someone like me. I lit into her saying "First of all, he wasn't telling you how to do your job, and secondly, this isn't your first mistake". She huffed and huffed (if I had a house, woulda been blown down I tell ya). She informed me I could take my business elsewhere if I didn't like the way she did things. Hmmmmm...now what would Brandon do???

Now over the years, I have had many people tell me this exact thing. After a poorly cooked meal, or absolutely inadequate service. Most of the time, I let it go. But on those rare occasions when I speak up, and I am told I can take my business elsewhere, I like to inform them of the 10-10-10 rule. Simply put, I tell 10 people about my experience, they tell 10 people, etc. etc. It snowballs into the possibility of over 600 people being told about one establishment and their inefffective ways. That usually makes them think twice or even recant their decision. A butt kissing is usually in order when I'm through. I guess I'm the customer service nazi to some.

It's what I was taught, trained, and groomed for. I learned from the start that every dollar counts. I understood the customer/server relationship and I followed it. I never spoke out of turn to a customer (unless it was a comment that I knew would get a laugh). I would have never treated someone poorly without a good excuse.

So now that I have ranted myself, I leave it in your hands. I ask you this...what do you expect from your experience? Do you think that the customer/consumer relationship has gone downhill? Do you demand more for your dollar? Do you think certain people demand a little more than others? I know that working on the east side of Salt Lake, and managing a restaurant there, they sure do. Do you feel that society today is lacking in quality? Do you feel that your opinion is taken seriously when you "complain"? Do you want to reach behind the counter and choke the person telling you " Uh, yeah, like I got to get my manager and stuff k"? Have we gotten too used to just taking it on the chin? I will honestly admit that I can be overbearing when I am the recipient of some high school dropout and his/her attempt at what they call "service". I have embarassed both my family and potential Mrs. Brandons...so be it. I know what I expect, and I know how it should be. I leave it up to you now...tell me what irks you. Let me know where you stand.

Thank you again for your candor, and your honesty. Happy reading..........

Brandon

Friends

Today was the mini reunion, and I will admit, at first I was apprehensive. I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to go and rehash old memories, or even see how happy everyone is. I'm glad I went. As far as I could tell, a great time was had by all. Some faces had changed, some people had changed. Some of us have gone gray, others didn't appear to have changed at all. But the most surprising thing to me was how well received I was when I walked in. People were both surprised and happy that lil ol me was there. I thank you for that. It made an old man happy to think he has not offended anyone with senseless blogging or even ran anyone off with useless application invites. I received many good appraisals on the blog page, so here I continue. I thank you all.

Driving home it was "remember when we did that" or "remember that one time.." All great memories. There was even a discussion of those who aren't with us anymore, and those that should have been there. I know many had "valid" excuses like camping in Montana, or hiking in the mountains with the kids, or even, get this...a root canal. Sheesh. I've heard some whoppers in my time, but those? Come on. I jest. It was unfortunate some could not attend.

I value my friends for not what they are, but for WHO they are. Every one of you is unique in your own sense. Some of you challenge me spiritually, others mentally. I take from you all something valuable and precious, and I try to return my greed with something just as needed or wanted. I always hope it's an even trade.

I will close this blog by saying thank you again. Thank you for who you are, and what you add to my life. Thank you for reading the ramblings of a slightly warped, and often times, disturbed mind.

There has been talk of another get together, a BBQ perhaps, where the chillins can run free and roam wild. I look forward to this with no trepidation. Until then, you keep reading, and I'll keep writing.

Brandon

What will you be remembered for?

Today I was thinking about what we do and how we are remembered when we are gone. So, I thought I would pose the question to you all.. What would you like to be remembered for?

Were you an outstanding athlete that set some new records? Do you have a genius I.Q.? Are you proud of your parenting skills and feel that is your legacy? The world's best cook? Can you hold your breath for 10 minutes without going crosseyed? Can you move objects with your mind? Can you sing like an angel? Lift a car one-handed? All of these are not only noble, but worthy of being remembered for.

Me, I don't honestly know. I always imagined people would say years after I'm gone " He sure could make ya laugh". Not exactly noble, but hey..we all got our thang. There is one talent I possess not many people know about (actually noone til now). I can read a person's eyes. I see things in them most people would rather hide. I know, sounds implausible, but I really can. It has served me well over the years. I can tell if a girl is interested from across the room, or I can tell if I'm being lied to. I promise I don't use it for evil, only good. I can't save the world with it, and it's not really a talent. A simple act of observation into ones soul is all. But enough about me.

What do my readers want to remembered for? What would you like a statue erected in your honor for? Have you saved someone's life( and I know of one of us who has done just that)? Did you avoid a disaster by intuition alone? Can you make your children clean their rooms (and the neighbor's house as well) with just a look? Do you have the ability to control a situation with your mere presence?

I am most curious about this one. I love getting to know you all on a deeper and more personal level. I understand if you read and decide not to comment, but I do love reading your comments. I hope you do not find these a waste of time. I hope you gain some insight into your lives and the lives of those around you. I hope above all, that you walk away after reading these and say " He sure can make me laugh". Be good to one another, be generous in your thoughts, and do right by each other. I look forward to seeing you all this coming Saturday.

Brandon

Tired

Today, I just want to vent. There will be no pop quiz, and no answers to questions. I simply want to vent.

I'm tired...tired of war, destruction, poverty, and death.

As you all know by now, we have lost another of our classmates. He died too young. They all did. It is both sad and unfortunate. I feel for his loved ones, and I grieve silently. I did not know James but from auto mechanics class. He was gifted with tools and always had a good joke to tell. I wouldn't go as far as to say we were close, but we were familiar.

The tragedy is unbearable to some, unthinkable to others. He gave his life in the service of saving others. It haunts me to think of those we went to school with in harms way everyday. Several are police officers, I know of one that is a firefighter.

I have dealt with death many times in my life. We have all lost loved ones, I'm sure. I have lost friends, cousins, grandparents, great-grandparents, and people I never knew. I have seen death first hand, and I know its capability.

I have lost people to the war, and people to disease. I have seen death take those who seemed healthy and those who were far too young to leave. I have watched helplessly as a 10 year old boy died in my arms from a traffic accident. It all haunts me.

I know this is macabre. I understand it can be considered in poor taste. I apologize to any I have offended. I simply needed to vent.

Many feel it is all part of a "plan", some say "It was just his time". There are many avenues to use when dealing with grief. My way...I think of the person and toast them one last time.

So...raise your glass..a toast to those passed on, and a toast to those left behind. May some day soon we meet and remember old times once again.