Things I Have Learned ( part Deux)

Quite some time ago, I wrote a blog on things I have learned. I think now is a good time to follow up with another list. So here we go !

- Books are the ambrosia of Life.
-Freedom is worth the responsibility.
-No one is an expert on you, except YOU !
-Without friends, Life would be boring.
-You should always leave loved ones with kind words. It could be the last time you
see them.
-You CAN keep going long after you think you can't.
-Never mix a common mistake with a rare blood type.
-Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
-Children are the best mirrors.
-Money is a lousy way of keeping score.
-Quiet reflection feeds the soul.
-Everyone has the same amount of Faith, they just invest it differently.
-It's not worth the calories unless it's chocolate !
-Heroes are those that do what must be done when it needs to be done, regardless
of the consequences.
-New adventures help you feel young.
-Peace is a choice.
-No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
-The truth that brings a tear is better than a lie that brings a smile.
-Tight shoes don't make your feet look smaller.
-Dogs understand love better than people do.
-Never be too eager to find out a secret, it could change your life forever.
-Open minds are healthy minds.

Yep. That's about it. I'm sure there is more I have learned, but I am getting older and the first thing to go is your...I just had it. I know what it is.. Oh well.

Enjoy your own lifes lessons and learn daily. Knowledge is never ending, and it's a great conversation starter. Hey, remember Cliffy from CHEERS !?

Be good to yourselves and remember, EVERYONE likes ice cream.

As Always,
Brandon

Publicity !

Ok, so recently I posted a comment on my Facebook page that drew some ire and inadvertently caused some controversy. When I saw that Amy Winehouse was found dead at 27, I said " This is what happens when you say ' NO NO NO ' to rehab". It's a free country right? I was criticized and tongue lashed for my " non-understanding of addiction and its pitfalls". PFFFTTTT!!!!!!! It had nothing to do with that. I later admitted her death was in fact a tragedy, it was her LIFE that was a joke.

In my honest, humble ( sometimes) and no punches pulled opinion, IM SICK OF SEEING STORIES ABOUT SOCIALITES !. If you go to rehab, good for you. Stick with it. Do the program until you're once again well enough to be a productive member of society. If you go to rehab, that's great. If you go four times, something is wrong. They don't just let anyone work at those places. The training is intensive for a reason. THEY KNOW WHAT THEYRE DOING !!!!

My latest complaint is Kim " I even faked it on my porn tape" Kardashian. Who is she? What does she do? She can't act. She is news worthy why? Because her Mom married Bruce Jenner? Ok, he was famous 40 years ago. But now? And why is her wedding plastered all over every news blog, or info page on the net? So she spent millions. Why? She decided on her Groomsmen. Whoope Di Doooo. I mean who honestly cares? If she is dumb enough to make a sex tape and let it be " stolen" and then released on the internet, she is as dumb as I think she is. If she isn't happy spending a decent amount on a wedding but has to go in the millions, I am not impressed. Why should I be?

Now don't get me wrong, I like money. I wish I had more of it. But I left a relationship because of it. For those of you that read my blogs, you know the story. If you are new to this ( I can't actually believe people still read let alone I might have new fans), a quick summary. I once dated a girl who made a considerable amount of dough. She tried to use that to change me. Homey didn't play that game. So that being said, what difference is a million dollar wedding compared to a simple, elegant, romantic one? Other than the cost. Who really needs doves being released from the trunk of a submarine off the coast of Bora Bora while dolphins do back flips over trained sea monkeys?? I mean hey, that would be cool, but you seen it once...well, you get the idea.

Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, and all the other socialites out there who have the urge to see your name on the news daily, I have but this to say to you. GET A FREAKIN LIFE !! You have the money, go buy a clue. Diana Agron of Glee fame ( she plays Quinn) said it best last week in an article. She simply said " My life is my own business, and what I do with it should not matter to anyone else". Good for her, I applaud her. I like people who have the 'celebrity status', who know they do, and don't feel they need to cash in on it.

Someday I hope to write a book. I hope to be famous for it and makes enough money to buy the above said back flipping dolphins, but I will always be me. Humble, extremely funny, entertaining, and did I mention humble? I won't be releasing any 'stolen' tapes, and my mugshot won't appear weekly on the local celeb rags.

As always, thank you for allowing me to vent. If you're reading this, you are among the few. My personal thanks to you. And i want all to know that yes, I realize addiction is not a laughing matter, I never meant to make it seem like it was.

In ending I would like to leave you with an appropriate quote.

"It is hard for kids these days to learn good manners without seeing any"

Maybe these celebs should stop and think about who pays them.

As Always, Brandon

What Would You Do?

Recently, a verdict was handed down in the Casey Anthony trial, and to be honest, it didn't go over very well. When even her own defense attorney was surprised, you know something is wrong. Now admittedly, I don't know all the details surrounding the case, but from what I have read, and from the info gathered, she was by all rights guilty as hell. Of course, certain circumstances could not be proved, thus allowing her to walk free. It made me think of another case closer to home that truly turns my stomach. It is the case surrounding 4 year old Ethan Stacy.

Just over a year ago, this defenseless, helpless child was brutally tortured, beaten and eventually murdered by his own stepfather. The Mother was not innocent either, she was more or less a willing participant. Knowing what was happening and doing nothing makes her just as guilty by association. The court trial has officially started and my question for you this time is " What would you do"?

If your name was chosen as a juror, how would you react? What thoughts would be going through your head? If you're a parent, how would you respond? Would you be able to sit on that jury, hearing the testimony and be able to serve justice fairly? Would your passion and emotions rule your thought?

Now myself, in all honesty, could not rule as partial. I have read the affidavits and I know exactly what was done to that poor child. My anger, passion and fury would be far too much to overcome and allow my mind to work clearly. I don't have children, but I also don't see any need whatsoever to put a child through that. Annoying, sure, they all can be sometimes. Even the most patient parent is tested. That's what makes you a good parent in the long run. It was a senseless act of violence afflicted on an innocent soul.

Now for those of you willing to put yourselves through it, at the end of this blog I will post some links to the actual probable cause affidavits. I will now however warn you, they are graphic and should only be read if you feel you can emotionally and mentally handle such things. I don't post them to upset or hurt anyone, it is after all public record. I post them so that people will know the kind of monsters that are out there. These are the people our parents warned us about.

What chills me is the absolute indifference that both the Mother, and the stepfather had towards the death of this little boy. Like it was nothing more than a nuisance for them to have to answer questions. Like caring for him and seeing he was raised healthy and happy was an option not fitting their schedules. I honestly hope life in prison for both of them fits their schedules. I hope everyday they are haunted by their decisions. I pray they never find peace.

As I said, I could not serve justly on that jury, and my heart goes out to those that are currently doing so. May the Good Spirits rest and bless the soul of young Ethan Stacy and hold him forever in their sweet embrace. Love your children, hug them and tell them daily what they bring to your life. Let them know why you love them. Let them love you without remorse. My wish to all of you.

Thanks again for reading, peace be kind to you all, and mercy be your guiding hand.

http://www.heraldextra.com/pdf_81e27cde-5ee7-11df-9a0a-001cc4c002e0.html

http://www.heraldextra.com/pdf_caaa67c4-5f0f-11df-b3ae-001cc4c002e0.html
( to view these affidavits, click on the smaller Pdf version to enlarge)

http://ethan-stacy.memory-of.com/About.aspx

That last link is a little good in all the bad. Please visit it and share your thoughts.

As Always,
Brandon

Ordinary

I recently asked two women to describe me. Each responded with "I'm thinking". It made me laugh really. I never once thought myself to be an ordinary, un extraordinary average man. I dont hold any thoughts of being super human or incredible in any way. I guess I only thought I was more forgetful than that. I dont harbor thoughts of myself being anything than what I am.

Of course, after some thought, a person gets the answer they expect. Intriguing, Intelligent, Sexy, Thoughtful, Charming, Funny, Handsome. BLAH ! If asked, I could respond with much better adjectives than that. And I dont need " time to think". When I get to know someone, I dont fool around.

I guess in a way, this bothers me. I dont see any of those qualities in me, and I have never thought myself to be above average. Ok, the funny part maybe. Since high school I have denied myself the thoughts of being handsome or charming. I have never agreed with being intelligent just for the fact I pissed away my grades in school and never made anything of myself. Thoughtful? That can describe anyone who takes a few seconds to put in words what their overcooked brain dares to think. Sexy...please!

When I sit and reflect on my life, I see two things, or facets if you will. What I am now, and what I could have become. What I am now is simple. I am a misogynistic, closed off recluse. I am lazy and prone to bouts of anger. HA ! they say the truth will set you free. Whatevah !!!

What could I have become? Not anything I wanted to, that's for damn sure. I am not political, religious, or active in any society. I cannot see myself in a position of power or responsibility. I am more apt to sit back and watch society crumble than step up and want to fix it. I didn't make their mistakes, I don't feel it's my job to dig them out of it. Callous? Probably. Cynical? Most assuredly.

What I am now represents me honestly. I don't lie to women to get them in bed. I don't tell them what I think they want to hear, and I don't fill their heads with thoughts or images of sugarplums or fantasy. The truth that brings a tear far outweighs a lie that brings a smile. I am who I am, and I apologize to no one.

Of course there is so much out there that I wholeheartedly disagree with, yet I remain silent. To those I see no good and no change coming from me speaking up. I don't offer unsolicited advice for this very reason. If you want my opinion, ask me for it, but don't ever presume I will offer it of no accord.


Now back to me. After all I have said, i don't see myself as ordinary. I know there is good in me, I have seen it escape once or twice. I know I am capable of anything I put my heart mind or soul ( what is left of it) to, but I prefer to sit back and watch as an outsider first. I am vain, self loathing and funny. A great combination in the right world. I am single and see myself forever being so. I feel I am above ordinary, even if by a small step. Nothing wrong with that.

Again, i am uncertain why I wrote this. It is entirely possible I needed to get this off my chest so to speak in order to move onto the next adventure. And to answer your unasked question, what would I be if I could be anything? A professional hitman. I feel I would be perfect. My soul is dark, my mind at ease. There is nothing here keeping me from wandering the world. And I like lots of money :)

Peace be with you all, and happiness be your daily mantra. This was not written to scare you, and there is no need to look for me in the shadows. There is still a 7 day wait for a gun.

Until next time, keep your chins up, and you cell phones away when driving.

Brandon

" I dreamed a dream in times gone by, when hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed your God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted. But the tigers come at night, with a voice as soft as thunder. As they tear your hope apart, as they turn your dream to shame. And still I dream she'll come to me, that we will live the years together. But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather. I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I'm living, so different now from what it seems. Now life has killed the dream I dream".

These are words from a song. A song that comes from a musical. One of my favorites as a matter of fact. They are also the lyrics to the song that made Susan Boyle an International sensation. They come from Les Miserables, and it is one of the most profound, and beautiful songs ever. The lyrics say something in themselves I feel.

We all dream. Not all of us remember our dreams, but I do. Most anyway. There are times I experience a sense of Deja Vu, and after some recollection, I realize it is something I have dreamed before. Prophetic? No. This is a phenomenon many experience at one time or another. Freud believed our dreams explained our psyche in some way. Pfffffttttttt. Not everything in our lives can be blamed on our parents. No mater badly he wanted us to believe it.

There are cases of people inventing something useful that came to them as a dream. Could this be blamed on people in their life suppressing the creative nature? I doubt it. Who knows.

I do know this, dreams are an integral part of life. Without them, we carry frustrations ( both mentally and sexually) around like baggage. I know I have awoken refreshed and mentally alert after particular "odd" dreams. Something that has perplexed me before becomes suddenly clear and understandable. I don't dream I'm rich or famous. I don't dream I'm Don Juan. I don't even dream I'm a superhero. But I can tell you some of the dreams I have had in the past have been strange, and I have one that repeats itself from time to time. Usually when I'm tired and have too much on my mind. I dream I am in a corner of a room, and no matter what happens, the room keeps stretching away from me. It never gets smaller no matter where I go or what I do. I think were I hooked to a machine, you would see some serious REM.

Anyway, I'm not sure why I even wrote this blog. I was sitting here writing ( yes, I am attempting to turn my twisted warped mind into a book), and listening to some music. The song mentioned above came on, and I felt compelled to write it down. So there you go. No lesson learned today. No intellectual leakage. Nothing to go " Hmmm" over. Just me filling a screen with some words. I hope all your dreams are spectacular in nature. I wish you all super powers, sexual prowess and riches. That makes sleeping worth it when your dreams are looked forward to rather than dreaded.

I know this sounds odd, but believe me it helps. Keep a dream diary. Something for you that you can write down those that you remember. Even the ones that cause you to wake sweating and screaming. It gives you an idea of what you see as you sleep, and will pinpoint stress and tension in your life. I have one, and I pity the person who reads it after I'm gone. Many of the entries will make anyone go " what the hell"?

As always, best wishes to you all. Thanks for taking time out of your life to read my ramblings. Love those closest to you, and throw rocks at those too far way. HAHA

Peace be amongst you all, and happiness in your hearts.

Brandon

LOVE ! HUH..WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR ?

Tomorrow is Singles Awareness Day, S.A.D. for short. In my recent opinion, that is my outlook on love as well. It just isn't worth the emotional or mental trauma anymore. I know some of you cynics out there are shaking your heads and saying to yourselves, " Awww, sure it is". To each their own.

It has been over a year since I have visited this page and re-read the things left here for others to see. It has been some time since I have felt the need to express myself through words and thought. The time has come again to pick up the mighty pen, or in this case of technological advancement, the keyboard and write once again. I have kept myself busy this past year plus. I became a DJ for an online social lounge. Something I found to my astonishment I was very good at. I also found someone who I was crazy about. Im talking the hands sweating, butterflies in my stomach, goofy look on my face, stars in my eyes crazy about. It turns out that it wasnt meant to be.

She was and still is a wonderful, amazing person. I just could not make her happy enough to see I was the one for her. Egotistical for sure, but in my humble opinion the truth. She just wasnt willing enough to let herself fall in LOVE (ick) and let herself be happy.

Now those of you who have read my past blogs may wonder what happened to Jackie. Well, that also did not work out. Its amazing what money can do. She had it, I didnt, and it snowballed from there. Now dont get me wrong, I like having money, but I couldnt compete. I am nobody's boy toy.

This latest endeavor into the field of Cupid was also a long distance one. We met online, quite by accident really, and things seemed to have blossomed. Only one wrinkle, she was with someone when I met her. She remained with that person over the course of our cyber dating even though she was mistreated and publicly humiliated on many occasions. I tried to make her see the error of her ways, but to no avail. Maybe I just didnt try hard enough.

I wont mention her name so she may keep her anonymity, which oddly enough was what I turned out to be. One great big secret. Anyone who had spoken to me in the last year learned with pride all about her through me. Those that knew her, had no idea I existed. I know she didnt want word of her having a part time man on the side to get out, but wow. She would say she was crazy about me, and then push me away. We used to talk on the phone nightly, that stopped suddenly and without warning. I had invited her to come out here and spend some time, only to be rebuffed and told some reason she could not. None of the reasons were good ones either. I used to tease her about her reasons to gauge her reactions, and they would be just as i feared.

This isnt a blog to trash her or make her sound horrible. Not at all. She was a wonderful, amazing, beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. I really saw so much in her. My dreams were flooded with her. My every waking thought was of her. She penetrated the cloudiest of days with her smile. She was my equal, my match, my one soul mate. We shared so many things in common.

People do what they must to survive. Mine was to walk away. I hate myself for doing it, and I regret my decision right now. But I felt I deserved better treatment, and I dont want to be a dirty little secret anymore. It all could have been avoided sadly enough. With a word, or a promise, I would have believed her, and trusted her to do the right thing. I know...do the right thing. Here she is "with" someone else and Im asking her to dump him and pick me. Like a damn kids game of kickball. PICK ME !!! HA ! But seriously, I saw from the start he was horrible to her. He didnt even remember her birthday this year. not the kind of man she deserves.

So anyway, here we are once again constant readers ( assuming there are any out there bored enough to still hang on my every word). I have decided to re-build my emotional wall. Brick by dirty dusty brick. I must be doing something wrong, or maybe I am not doing enough. It could be I am far too much of a hopeless romantic. I just dont know, and at this point Im not sure I care anymore. I have my anger issues, my rants about stupidity and my thoughts to keep me company. Maybe its for the best and I should spend my years alone.

Thank you as always for reading. Your comments are always welcome, and always read. Wishing you all the best of everything and a wonderful V-Day to those of you lucky enough ( if you consider yourself lucky) to have someone to spend it with. Those of my single friends reading this..let us form a community. We shall call it Singletopia and we will run it together. Cupid will not be allowed and should be shot on site. Hallmark will be banned by law, and those little candy shaped hearts will say things that are true, like " whatevah" " love stinks" and my personal favorite " dumbass". Let us rise against the commercial holiday and unite.

Happiness, friendship and sunshine be with you all. Thanks always for who you are and what you mean to me.

Brandon the town idiot of Singletopia